How do you get a job?

I'm getting so frickin frustrated. I graduated from college with a degree in English and History with many distinctions and recognitions. Also, I have two DUI/OWI's on my record. I'm not applying for any driving jobs, and I'm being truthful when asked about prior convictions on the before interview application. I have excellent references. How do you get that great job that you're suppose to get after college?